16 Reasons You Shouldn’t Like Me (And I Don’t Like Me Either)
I mine the cupboards of memory
And all I come up with is
A treasury of embarrassments.
The face in the store window
Is not the face in my imagination—
Too long, too crooked, too somber—
But it is the face of my disappointed face.
Fingernails: usually an afterthought—
Therefore, splitting; therefore, jagged.
Yes, a nap.
There’s always housework,
But I’m always tired.
I am thoughtful to a fault
But I lack follow-through.
Your get-well card is unmailed.
I often bore myself with my own chatter.
My attention span is evaporating—
An ocean, a lake, a pond, a puddle, a drop.
I need structure, little sets of building blocks,
Or I wander into anxiety’s dank forests.
I cannot spell.
I dislike fractions.
Laziness is my little secret.
I cover it up with various reports
About penance and good works.
I am irredeemably freckled.
I have yearly check-ups.
There is no cure.
Embarrassments include but are not limited to:
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX(consider this information redacted.)
When I’m not writing, I’m miserable.
This is also true when I’m writing.
If you’re my child, I need too much quiet,
Am too aware of dangers, write poems about you.
If you’re my friend, I’m already worried
That I’ve offended you forever.
Periodically, I listen to news, and know
That in the wider world, none of the above matters.
And yet, and yet…
Gillian Wegener has had poetry published Spillway, Packinghouse Review, In Posse, and Sow’s Ear. Her chapbook Lifting One Foot, Lifting the Other was published by In the Grove Press in 2001, and her first full-length collection of poetry, The Opposite of Clairvoyance was published in 2008 by Sixteen Rivers Press. Wegener lives in Modesto, CA where she hosts the monthly 2nd Tuesday Reading Series, is founding president of the Modesto-Stanislaus Poetry Center, and is serving as the Poet Laureate for the City of Modesto because she truly believes that poetry can make the world better.